What Happens on July 20th?

Remember the pandemonium surrounding Y2K? Well, brace yourself for July 20th because that is the deadline for ordering The Tool You Will Want Real Bad.

If you have not ordered a Kerfmaker (two or more would be preferable) you have to ask yourself this simple question; “What is wrong with me?” For a measly $59 bucks I can have a tool that will not allow me to make mistakes.

And we agree (it’s unanimous too) there is something wrong with people who have yet to order the Tool You Will Want Real Bad.

Final Blog Announcement

Maybe this will help the fence sitters; With our marketing effort in hypeoverdrive (I just made that word up) could we afford to lose face by delivering a product that disappoints? Of course! But we won’t.

Oh, for those of you wondering what happens after July 20th when you realize that not ordering the Kerfmaker was a HUGE MISTAKE? Well, you get to put your name on a list and when the list grows to 500,000 names, we will make the second batch.

What don’t you get about KERFECTION?

Don’t be a bozo–July 20th is it. No exceptions. $59.

–John

27 comments on this post:

  1. John, is there a bozoness level? I have pre-ordered three of them but I think at least one person has ordered four. What is my bozo level? :o ) Fred

  2. I’ve already turned a few friends on to the Kerfmaker. One of them unfortunately will be the guy kicking himself. Heck I may order another one just to hold over his head and make him admit I was right and he should have gotten one instead of pulling out his tape measure every time ;) Can’t wait until they ship!

  3. John,

    Strangely that pfranks guy who is belittling me has ordered up to, hmmm, oh yes, ZERO. Talk about a bozo.:o)

    Fred

  4. John, I think it is clear that pfranks cannot reach kerfection much less the wisdom induced by such. I think rather than ban him perhaps not allowing him to purchase anything new or old from this wondrous site for a period of one very long year. You just don’t mess with kerfection. You are the boss and may consider this too harsh but as the one so viciously attacked it seems only just. :o ) Fred

  5. Actually, I already have “a tool that will not allow me to make mistakes.” It’s my wife.

    I think banning from this totally awe….(wait for it)….some blog is a bit harsh. How about taunting me with cool new tools until I learn to behave myself?

  6. pfranks; The Kerfmaker is a cool new tool and you are not behaving. Can’t you see–it is obvious to everybody–and it is really bugging Fred. Behave.You know you want it Real Bad. $59.

    -Your favorite tool Potentate.

  7. Hello,

    I think there ia an old saying, “You can lead pfranks to Kerfmaker, but you can’t make him buy!” So we’ve done all we can for him, he now knows what he must do! Since all the wise woodworkers have ordered, now it’s time to ask, “what’s the next tool in the 25th aniv. series?”

    Rutager

  8. OK! OK! I don’t even know pfranks or fredhw, but all your banter with these two just made ME order two! No, please ship them to me instead.

  9. Well – I still have 2 days to order a few dozen.

    But you’re right, Rutager. I can hardly wait to see the next BCT essential! It seems like it would be hard to top the double saddle square (though clearly the Kerf Maker, and its half million units being sold, is a pretty exciting piece of engineering!).

    Hey Tim (McKenzieDrums). Nice to see you here! You’ve discovered the two best places on the internet.

    Yes, John – bugging Fred is one of my favorite pastimes. I’m sorry that it comes at the cost of not owning a Kerf Maker. At least … not yet … ;-)

    – Peter

  10. P.S. “Tool Potentate”. I like that! You should put it on your business card.

    –P

  11. John,

    I agree with Rutager that bozo, I mean pfranks has been lead but has tripped over his inability to be kerfect. It is such a shame as it had appeared that he might indeed be worthy but alas. So, as Rutager has asked I too would like to know the next addition to the 25th anniversary series? Obviously a bozo should not be allowed to purchase anything within the series UNLESS it is quite expensive and then he must buy three as penance. :o )

    Fred

  12. John,

    pfranks is SUCH a bozo he made me spell led as lead because I am so upset. How can anyone who claims to be a woodworker not buy something as filled with kerfmagic as the KerfMaker? Any woodworker worth his salt can see the obvious advantages and would jump on this.

    Fred

  13. OK, the next BCTW essential–this coming week I am going to post a picture of the tool that will be available for Xmas. (there will be others in front, but this one is really cool).

    It is going to take us months to count all of the money from the Kerfmaker-just as I had forecast. So I will post pics of the others when I get back from the Cayman Islands.

    Isn’t summer fun?

    -John

    Oh, I forgot–here’s a little teaser–I found an amazing addition to my stainless steel fetish; black chrome. This stuff is AWESOME!

    PS: We have to ignore pfranks. This will force him to buy three KM’s to get back in our good graces. July 20. $59. No exceptions.

  14. Peter STILL hasn’t ordered his? I will be sure to send him a harassing message on the forum of other cool tools that he frequents.

    Black chrome… Love it on my drums, interested in seeing it on a tool… I believe we need a bigger hint than that. Time to start making Christmas lists and what not. I’m pretty sure they have the internet down on the Islands so tease away!

  15. You’ve heard the old saying “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”?
    In Pfranks case it is more like “you can lead a man to wonder, but you can’t make him think”!
    I bought four. I’ve never done that. I think I have Kerf-Mania! John, My wife is starting to not like you…..

  16. First there was “The Tool You Will Want Real Bad”.
    And you know you want it–and you will get it.

    This week? Get ready for “The Tool Too Sexy for Mass Production” Yes, it will be true.

    Black Chrome. Stainless Steel. More than $59. Xmas 2009. Book it.

    -John

  17. John,

    Black chrome, crikey but that sounds sexy. :o ) More than $59 no problem but hopefully much less than the $2500 on that stainless steel beauty that I could only drool on. :o (

    RonM,

    I am honored to have help lead you to the holy KerfMaker. :o ) Please let me know if rather than spending $$$$’s on other tools, except BCT, you might like to just send me some as a start toward the black chrome coming our way. :o )

    Dennis,

    Quickly, very quickly build your wife something that could only have been made with one of your other Bridge City Tools and use that as a ………….bridge to more BCT tools. :o )

    Fred

  18. Fred,
    Bless your guidance, but alas all my tool money has indeed gone to BCT this year. The only other thing I’ve splurged on is a GPS for my wife’s birthday. I hope she doesn’t use it to go find this Economaki guy!

    Wife moderates tool purchases somewhat; I can hear her saying that I already have a chrome dome, so will have to decline on any chrome donations in any direction until John comes up with at least a picture and more great motivation. What’s that phrase John quotes? “It must be beautiful; it must be useful; it must be worthy of its space”? I sure hope my wife doesn’t apply it too literally! :-)

  19. Man, I’m getting hammered here! I may have to cave to peer (and Potentate) pressure…

    But John, I do need to point out that Fred would never have bought his HP-7 had it not been for me (thereby paying Natasha’s salary for much longer than 3 or even 8 Kerf Makers). He’s also bidding BCT tools up to outrageous prices on ebay – such is his single-minded fervor to acquire Bridge City Tools. All because of my good advertising on your behalf. So – in spite of my not (yet) ordering my Kerf Maker – I’m making you big bucks.

    And look – Ron jumped on the Kerf Maker wagon just because of my “banter with” (aka abuse of) Fred! Cut me some slack here – I don’t even have a table saw (or JMP) to use my Kerf Maker with!

    (Basically I’m begging for the opportunity to purchase future Bridge City tools… Please please please pleasepleaseplease…..)

    –Peter

  20. John,

    I could not have put that better to that ole’pfranks dude but sure wish I had.

    Ron,

    You are welcome for all help that leads toward the purchase of beautiful, functional high end tools. It is only a bozo like that pfranks guy that can’t spend $59. Makes me hurt to think about it as it is just so wrong.

    John,

    As an idea why not charge pfranks $69 to read or post here until he buys the KM-1 today. :o )

    Fred

  21. The “hole” in the Kerfmaker is there primarily for visual interest–got you to ask a question didn’t it? It can also be used to hang the tool on a hook.
    Regarding the visual interest, imagine the tool without the hole–doesn’t seem right. With the hole the tool takes on an anthropomorphic personality–which I like.

    –John

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