Thanks to all who helped us unload our 27 year supply of Cocobolo and Ebony shorts.

While perusing through some old stuff, on yet ANOTHER RAINY DAY in Portland, I came across this image of a small chest front I made in the 1970′s—and oh how I wish that decade was a typo…

This small  Cocobolo draw pin effectively uses the sap as a strong visual element on a plain, straight grained walnut drop face chest. It is about 5 inches long. From a design standpoint, it begs to be removed, examined and replaced.   Sometimes sapwood can be very powerful and other times a complete disaster and contrived. So be careful with sapwood.  The design was inspired by a feather I found while on a walk.

What you cannot see is the reverse curve–the draw pin is inserted rotated 90 degrees to what you see here and then rolled downward to seal the lid to the body. This keeps one from scratching the crap out of the front if it were straight.  Lastly, since most box type projects tend to be boringly symmetrical, a little asymmetry can be a welcome contrast.

The hole has the visual function of inviting removal.

The female it engages is also a very small piece of cocobolo.

Just something to ponder when you need ideas.

Now go make something worthy of the space it occupies!

–John

Attention All Members of the Drivel Starved Nation ! (this includes YOU and anybody else who reads this totally worthless blog);

Have a Great 4th of July!

Lot’s of stuff going on here–from none other than John, your tool Potentate;

Finally assembly of our new stainless steel 18″ (and 12″) combination squares is happening as I peck away feeding this insatiable blog–which when you think about it is about as enjoyable as your neighbors muffler-less car…

Oh, back to combination squares–they are gorgeous. Yes, accurate too. We don’t know our final tally yet but we should have a few extra for those of you who procrastinate. Shipping will commence within the next 10 days or so.

Parts are coming in for the Jointmaker Pro v2 (and the upgrade kits), no promises (on delivery dates) but it is moving along. And there is a major cool surprise too!

CT-17 underway too!

The special limited edition HP-7 solid stainless steel shoulder plane is in “chips flying” stage. Should be done by the beginning of football season. There are six out of the fifty remaining–FYI.

In addition, we are working on LOTS of new stuff–not as fast as anyone would like, but hey, money is tight and we have accordingly retooled our  R & D department. Here’ s a pic of our newest staff member hard at work–

Sometime in the next two weeks we are going to begin the pre-order process for the “The Tool You Have to Have Now!” And if you don’t know you have to have it, you soon will. Why? Well it’s under $100 for starters. But wait, there is more…here’s the completely unnecessary back story;

The KM-1 Kerfmaker (The Tool You Want Real Bad!), has to be the hottest selling tool in the woodworking sector right now. How do I know? Well, I don’t.

Now as most of you know, we almost sold enough KM-1′s for me to buy Hawaii as my private residence. Ended up being about $400 short. (I offered a couple of billion and they countered with a couple of billion plus $400. No thanks.) I have Iceland in my sights now…

The Kerfmaker allows you to make grooves and bridles by gauging the stock width. No measuring. No mistakes. No brainer–and yes, although we are in the anti-inventory business, we have KM-1′s in stock. But…

…in the real world of woodworking, it is easier to size a tenon to a mortise than a mortise to a tenon and of course we know this and now you do too. And what good is knowledge if it doesn’t change history?

So consider this YOUR last call to make history. The pic below shows the “almost final” form of the TM-1 (it’s on the right). It will gauge mortise widths from 1/8″ up to two inches and it will measure mortise lengths up to 2″ IF the mortise is wider than 1/2″.

Since you will be forking over your hard earned cash for this amazing little device (which by the way, will completely eliminate the sloppy joinery you have come know) is the capacity of this tool satisfactory for your needs?  Speak up or else.

–Muffler Out

“A Potpourri of Diospyros Insularis”… has to be one of the most interesting assembly of consonants and vowels I have ever strung together. I just love this job…

Last week we unleashed our three decade old accumulation of cocobolo shorts (I know, not the best syntax…) upon you, the DSN. (drivel starved nation). I am pleased to announce this material will all be gone tomorrow! How cool is that?

This is cooler…

Today, underneath a 300 pound flat of cocobolo trims, I unearthed a sealed box of Diospyros Insularis, aka; Macassar Ebony. These are child pieces from vacuum dried parent stock and honestly, I don’t remember what we made out of this material. The pic below is what five pounds looks like and is representative of what you will receive. Maybe we have 100 pounds of the stuff.

Details:

Five pounds.
$35
Freight included (USA ground only)
First come, first served.
sales@bridgecitytools.com
800-253-3332

This material is likely best suited for turned knobs or other small turnings. Then again, maybe you have a better idea. (No, this is not a bunch of end-checked worthless (s)crap. FYI.)

So, are you wondering what we are going to do with our new found warehouse space? The new BCTW video studio will call this space home.

There are too many windows to make the kind of videos I would like to make but it should work well for tool shoots.

–John

FROM MY 4TH GRADE REPORT CARD:
“John doesn’t seem to apply himself and when he does, he is almost always inappropriately amused by his misguided sense of humor.”

For 27 years we have used dalbergia retusa (aka Cocobolo) as the primary wood in our tools.

Interestingly, during most of the ’90′s we (Bridge City) were participants in a sustainable yield test program only to learn that Cocobolo is not a sustainable yield timber.  This was one of the reasons that led to the new sculptural aesthetic now found in our products. And although we still own some lumber, we have accumulated three decades of shorts and trims–this material, in my eyes was always going to be used someday by somebody.  Hey, that day is here! And you could be that somebody! Admit it–you always wanted to be a somebody…

Prior to announcing our exclusive special to those of you who should be doing something more important than following the worthless drivel on this blog, a word about boiling water in a vacuum…

As you SHOULD KNOW, water boils at 212 degrees F. at sea level. As you lower atmospheric pressure, the water boils at lower temperatures and it is possible to boil water at room temperature (no, it is not 212 degrees while boiling, it is the temperature of your room…almost) in a partial vacuum.

The reason I bring this up is that you need to learn something here. What might that be you say? Thanks for asking!

All of our cocobolo has been vacuum kiln dried. This means that the water was boiled out of the stock (at around 90 degrees F.) which dramatically reduces end checking (if you have ever had chapped lips you understand end checking….). This means our three decades of trims are good for something…in your shop.

Tool handles. Furniture pulls. Knives. Pens. Plugs. Chop sticks… I am sure you can think of a few too.

We have pre-boxed all this material into ten pound units and we think you need to act fast before we post this on our website.  The picture below is representative of what you will receive when you steal this material from us. Nothing is over 16″ long. Some of it is thin. Some fat. Some smooth. Some not. Some can be turned. Some can’t. None of it is junk.

As a loyal follower of the drivel in this worthless blog, you will get first crack at a really nice ten pound box that you have no control over the contents. No whining or complaining. And if we thought you would whine or complain, we wouldn’t be doing this.

Ten pounds. $35. Free Shipping (no, not overnight, ground USA only)

How?

sales@bridgecitytools.com

If we have your credit card on file, just tell us how many boxes you desire and we will do the rest.

Limit 10,000 boxes per customer. (Sorry).

Or, you can call 1-800-253-3332 to find out how hard it is raining here.

–John

Sure seems like I find myself in Cincinnati at least once or twice a year…

The fine folks of Popular Woodworking are graciously hosting a Lie-Nielson Hand Tool Event this coming Friday and Saturday. Personally, I am hoping to see some sunshine… what a wet spring in PDX. (Horrible model helicopter weather, which has saved me some repair money for sure…)

The hours are 4-9 on Friday with some kind of after show event where attendees get to hurl insults and food at the tool makers. (I am going to try and hit Chris Schwarz in the forehead with a ripe avocado for suggesting that I needed a blog). Should be fun. Saturday is noon to five (FYI, I will be gone around 3PM on Saturday–I have a ride to Knoxville that I can’t pass up).

I will be demonstrating the new Jointmaker Pro v2 (upgrade kit), and it is fantastic if I do say so myself. Oh, I will also have a prototype CT-17 Dual Angle Block Plane to show too.

Will there be discounts available for those that show up and buy stuff? I am afraid so.

I would love to chat with you if you can find the time!

Best-

John

Yesterday the Dow dipped below 10,000 and I know why.

Michael Berg (who claims to work here and is 100% responsible for all of our manufacturing delays) became a first-time father. Clearly the Dow saw this in negative light.

Apparently he finds time to make babies but ignores your needs for our latest and greatest new tools. Go ahead and be mad–personally I am hotter than a sphincter after a bad Mexican meal…

Well, we (that includes you) can fix this (not the delays) by laying the foundation to make Michael a super dad. Here’s how;

Let’s create the world’s greatest check-off list for newbie parents. I have started it below, you can add yours in your post.

Furthermore, please share your greatest parental scam–mine is below. Why? Well parenting is 100% fun 100% of the time.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO AS A PARENT of a NEW BABY BOY

• Drool. Lots of it.
• Toxic Diapers
• Bed Wetting
• Projectile Vomiting
• Mysteriously Broken Windows and Major Appliances
• Barefoot Lego Hell at 2:10 AM (All we need to do is carpet bomb the Middle East with Legos. Game over.)
• Soccer Games at least 120 miles away (or so it seems)
• Emergency School Counselor calls … AT WORK.
• Clothes and Shoes that NEVER FIT… for TWO FREAKIN’ DECADES!
• Missed Curfews
• Sleepovers so carefully coordinated to confuse parents that Jack Bauer comes out of retirement to help solve.
• Never hope to finish higher than third in the pine box derby.
• Stitches. Lots of them.
• A crusty sock or 10….(this should come as no surprise).
  
• The smell of the family aquarium after returning from the family vacation is rather special.
• From age 9 to 19 you will be the dumbest bastard that ever lived. However, intelligence can be purchased through massive allowance raises.
• Never forget this parent formula: L=CS x 4W (Lice equals clean sheets four weeks in a row).

…now it is your turn! Add your contribution to the list.

MICHAEL, WATCH OUT FOR THESE SCAMS;

Back in the 60′s the World Series was played during the weekday. This meant I needed a week long disease to watch Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris during school hours. So I perfected the art of holding the thermometer up to my bedside light, and shaking the temperature down to 101-102. This works fantastic!

On day three, my mom came in earlier than expected and yanked the glass tube out of my mouth (by the way, oral thermometers were relatively new thankfully).

“You have a temperature of 113.”

“Is that bad?”

“It won’t keep you out of school. Get dressed.”

Busted, I had to have a better plan. So the next morning I brought my “A” game.

“I don’t feel very well.”

I received the cursory hand to forehead and was asked, “Do you feel sick to your stomach?”

I offered a barely audible. “Yes.”

“THEN GET INTO THE BATHROOM NOW!”

My plan was working–all moms hate vomit–can’t say I like it myself either. While in the bathroom I clandestinely opened the vanity door and removed the bucket of cleaning supplies–these were temporarily dispatched to the ugliest shag throw rug you have ever seen. I then dipped the bucket into the toilet and filled it with about a quart of sparkling fresh toilet water. And then I waited.

About 5 minutes passed when I heard my mom walking towards the locked bathroom door…

“John, are you OK?”

And at that epochal moment I inhaled, and while letting out a guttural scream, I dumped the water back into the toilet from a height of about four feet (even back then, my attention to detail was astonishing don’t you think?”). I then added a couple of gag coughs and some spitting for added realism.

“I am calling school–you are staying home–brush your teeth and get into bed.”

And on that Thursday in October, 1960, I watched (on our 12″ b&w TV with Sputnik legs) Mickey Mantle smack two homers–and the Yankees cruised over the Pittsburgh Pirates 16-3.

From that day forward, “the bucket trick” never failed me.

Now it is your turn. Share you greatest scam and Michael will pick a winner. This winner will receive one of the hundreds of disemboweled tools that has turned Micheal’s office into a Superfund site. Trust me, somebody is going to win something.

Surprisingly, I feel pretty good after sharing that story.

–John

PS: Actually Calder Cary Berg, this post is for you, all seven pounds of you. Welcome to the world.

As far as blems go, Michael has set a new kind of record here… below are the first two CT-16′s he assembled. What do you think Donald Trump would say at this point?

After spending most of last night in the bowels of the internet (thanks to all who have shared their views) I finally decided to finish the Universal Jaws for the DJ-1 Drilling Jig.  As of this writing, prices and availability are yet to be determined.

I am excited about this tool, and it has a growing and enthusiastic user base which is cool.  These jaws take it to a new level.

The picture below will allow angled drilling on flat, square and round stock up to 45 degrees.  It is fairly straight forward, align ONE jaw (flat stock rides on top of the jaws) with a reference tool. Place anything reasonably round (a short piece of dowel or conduit works great) in the “v” groove, close the jaws together and tighten the second jaw and now both are planar.  It would be fun to offer a drilling challenge pitting this device against a drill press…

The two little jaws below index to the plates and provide a pivot/axle for drilling radially.  They slide up and down the plates  and will allow you to make “Tinker Toys” if you will up to 12″ in diameter.  Your stock spins on the 1/4 diameter axle and if you need a larger diameter pivot, make your own by center drilling dowel on the DJ-1 and cut to length to bush the 1/4″ metal shaft.

The image below illustrates the set-up for radially drilling either concave or convex shapes. The hole will always be radial and there is no limit to the diameter–you could literally drill spoke holes in a Conestoga wagon wheel if needed. You can drill hoops from outside in or inside out. It is simple, fool proof and more accurate than any method we can think of.

The attachment below should be of interest to toymakers, clock makers, sculptors, and any wood worker with the need for indexed holes.  There are five index rings (64, 60, 48, 36 & 28) and just about every possible combination can be generated with these five choices.

There are three main pivots for the wheels, and if one needs to index larger diameters (this will accommodate up to 14″ as shown) it is possible to gang plates together doubling the capacity or more.  More on this later.

Stock can be held to the index wheel either with screws or, with a small strip of double stick tape which would be my preference in most cases.  Again, arbor diameters are easily bushed by making your own bushings.

Couple of other timely pieces of news.

Our early bird offer regarding the CT-17  Dual Angle Block Plane which includes a free O1 iron in addition to the A2 stock iron,  expires this coming Monday, May 3. FYI.

Also, we are producing a limited run of the skeletonized  HP-7 Shoulder Planes (50 to be exact) and we have 10-11 that are still available. They are not for everybody but both of these tools are something else.

These are not available on our web store but further details are a phone call away by calling 1-800-253-3332.

Lastly, next week is the start of summer hours here at Bridge City. We work 4-10′s Mon-Thurs (phone staff works 8-5) until Oct. 1. Five months of 3 day weekends in Oregon is about as good as it gets.

I know I am looking forward to the change.

–John

PS: We made the blems pictured above to make ourselves laugh. Hopefully you too got a chuckle.

Apparently, if one were to believe what one reads, we here at Bridge City have somehow offended most of the woodworking planet… sure seems like we should expect a visitor with an explosive vest packed with ball bearings soaked in rat poison… (I am exaggerating, but apparently not by much…)

Caveat; it’s late, I’m tired, and I don’t get it.

Australia:
UK
USA
USA:
and if this doesn’t satisfy your voyeur instincts, Google CT-17 yourself to fully integrate yourself in the sewer of the internet…

What the hell? I really don’t get it.

It’s been going on awhile.

I always believed that the ultimate vote was with the pocketbook. Does anybody who reads the crap on this blog get all the antipathy? Because I sure don’t and it is really wearing on our staff, and me. And before you think this is some lame-ass appeal for sympathy, forget it…not a single response to this blog post will be approved to be read by others.

From my perspective, our work either resonates or it doesn’t–we respect that. But all of the cheap-ass shots that our staff has to wade through, and the emails from customers who are wondering why WE don’t respond is really getting old.

Damn, I feel better–not really.

That said, there is a about a 99% chance I am going to die broke because of my art addiction–here is my most recent discovery…

If you are prone to self-reflection, love the out-of-doors, and are looking to support somebody who is talented, check out this artist. I just received one of his pieces, which at $150 I thought to be extraordinarily priced and somehow, in the always familiar way, makes everything I have ranted about go away… this is the piece I want to crow about.

And thanks for listening.

Best-

John

Like the paternal voice I should be but rarely am, it is time to mine this exercise for deeper meaning…

I think it is safe to say that all who participated in this process had fun–some of these suggestions were damn funny. What is not funny is the dent in productivity this caused around here… who would’ve thunk it?

Linus Pauling once stated that the best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas, and this little contest is testament to the powers of distillation. And therein lies the message! (Linus Pauling was once a professor at Oregon State which reminds me, college football starts in four months–it is no irony that I am in the woodworking tool business and my favorite team is the Beavers!)

When I am asked to jury a show or my thoughts on a piece I almost always would like to see the ideas that were rejected prior to the final design. All to often there were no prior ideas–not good.

What we all did over the last couple of days is participate in a group brain-storming event. Hopefully you found this enjoyable and fun and perhaps the corollaries to your own work might be beneficial–it is what you reject as a designer that makes your work strong.

Speaking of rejects… (Oh goodie–the fun John is back!) well, we have quite a few ideas that need polish, but they helped elevate our three winners! But first, let’s discuss the judging because there might be lawyers lurking around this totally awesome and worthless blog.

Since I proffered a couple of ideas I recused myself–otherwise I am certain that I would have swept the awards… yes/no? Just kidding folks, but I did recuse myself from this contest, diets and fast Hollywood women.

That said, I managed to select two people off the street as judges. Imagine my surprise when I found out they both work here! So, if you don’t like the results, blame Cassia and Michael.

We have a three-way tie for first place–here ya go!

“Does this knurling make my knobs look big?”

Thanks to all of you who helped set a new record for posts in this totally awesome and worthless blog. To stevekay, pfranks and Steve_OH, you have your choice of a totally free $50 gift certificate OR one totally free Tenonmaker when they become available.

Now, I have got to get to work–my biggest fear is knowing the size of your wallet is growing and I am not doing anything to lance it…

–John

PS: To all the losers–when depressed, sad and feeling worthless visit this site. Works like a charm–I know it works for me!

Last year we introduced the Kerfmaker and if you don’t have one by now… maybe you can win this little contest and get one for (drum roll please) FREE!

But first you have to wade through the latest post on this totally awesome and worthless blog and then enter the contest below.

Let’s recap; the Kerfmaker will allow you to to make P-E-R-F-E-C-T bridle joints, cross laps and other tight fitting joints without measuring SQUAT!  How tight you ask? Tighter than a tube top on Dolly Parton–tight enough?

We will soon be introducing the Tenonmaker, which will allow you to make P-E-R-F-E-C-T tenons without measuring SQUAT! How tight you ask? Tighter than a prairie dog’s butt in a Nebraska dust bowl–tight enough? (Aren’t you glad I bypassed the obvious sophomoric analogies…?)

Because you are likely a guy (wild guess on my part) we are forced to make a movie of the Tenonmaker so that you understand it–every guy knows manuals don’t work. And once you understand the Tenonmaker YOU WILL succumb to an overwhelming urge to send us $89 for your own personal version. Don’t believe me? Check out this testimonial;

John-I have had a run of bad luck lately that led to a pretty wild night a few weeks back. My boss at the pitchfork factory rejected my idea of a one tine pitchfork, said it was already invented and it is called a javelin.  So I came home and swallowed three bottles of sleeping pills, stabbed myself in the neck with an oyster fork, jacked my car up, crawled underneath and kicked the jack handle. I really wanted to leave this earth but the pills turned out to be flea medicine for my dogs, the oyster fork hurt like hell (FYI), and that damn jack never worked anyway.  My wife said if I tried all of this on the same day again, she would turn off the heater on my salt water aquarium. I think she is my problem–she just doesn’t get mouth breeders.

I ended up in therapy where it was suggested that I buy a Kerfmaker from Bridge City Tool Works. Hell, for $72 bucks I gave it a try.

I want you to know that this amazing tool ,which allows me to do P-E-R-F-E-C-T joints has turned my life around. Thank YOU!

As a token gesture of gratitude, I have included a stack of Bearer Bonds totaling $2.4 million dollars. Do with this as you see fit–you deserve it.

–Cooter Ditchman

PS: I think any woodworker who does not own a Kerfmaker is dumber than a bag of hammers.

Well now, that is quite the story yes/no?

The movie will soon be done (the TM-1 movie that is). Meanwhile the pic below showcases the KM-1 (on the left) and the soon to be TM-1 (if you guessed “on the right” you are really smart) side-by-side.

Study this picture carefully because it can be your ticket to free tools (thanks to Cooter, I am now set for life and giving stuff away doesn’t bug me like it used to…).

How you ask?

Don’t you think this picture needs a caption, one that can be shared in a family-centric blog such as this one?

Not convinced? Top three captions will win something.

This is a “No Limit” caption contest. Tell your friends NOW.  Proudly hold your clarion aloft and tell the world! Do join in on the fun because I guarantee this will be fun.

What are you waiting for?

–John