Last Call for Entries: 2011 Sh!t Bunny Award

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” –A. Whitney Brown

____________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Each year we do our best to breach the subject of design, or the lack thereof, in the avocational woodworking community.
 
We understand that it is more fun to talk about glue, rags that spontaneous combust, the evils of MDF, and the Global Ripoff known as Bridge City tools, but at the end of the day, looking at a well made, well designed piece is way more fun.
 
Simple FACT 1: There is more bad work than good.

Simple FACT 2: We have all made BAD WORK.

Simple FACT 3: Nobody wants to repeat your BAD WORK.

Simple FACT 4: In order to prevent Simple Fact 3, we here at BCTW need to ferret out said bad work from the Drivel Starved Nation.

Simple FACT 5: If you are honest with yourself, and you want to help mankind, send us a pic of a piece that you made that you would never repeat because…well, YOU WANT TO WIN ONE OF THESE
 

 
As you might imagine, entrants must have some traits that would prevent them from suing us. They include;
 
1. Maker must have a sense of humor.
 
2. Maker must recognize that they have made something that only their mother would love.
 
3. Maker understands that design is a much deeper discipline than woodworking techniques.
 
4. Maker agrees that he/she has learned from said entry and would never repeat whatever it was that should have caused the piece to never have been built in the first place.
 
5. Maker agrees that as a Sh!t Bunny Award winner, your name will forever be associated with, er, Fred West.
 
6. Maker understands that our promises of TV shows, red carpet appearances and yet to be named benefits were exaggerated a little. Maybe a lot.
 
7. Maker understands that the coveted Sh!t Bunny Award is recognized by the IRS as $19.95 of unearned income. FYI.
 

Here is my biggest fear: We might lose our ability to legally claim “Totally Awesome and Worthless” in association with this Totally Awesome and Worthless Blog. The Sh!t Bunny Award is AWESOME! And if we don’t find a winner, then we become WORTHLESS. Get it?
 
Got game? john@bridgecitytools.com
 
–John

8 comments on this post:

  1. See, the unfair thing about this is that Fred did not actually build his Shit Bunny-winning entertainment center. So he can bask in the glory of owning a prize-winning piece of furniture, while we – the loyal and impoverished denizens of the Drivel-Starved Nation – have to offer up our own crap for criticism. It just doesn’t seem right. We should be able to blame someone else.
    .
    On a related note, I see that Rutager’s attempt at Shit Bunny fame has been soundly doused. I wonder if there’s something else he’s built that I could nominate…?
    .
    – Peter

  2. Peter-

    Since Fred continues to live with his Entertainment Center the only plausible reason/EXCUSE is that he DID build it. I think the time is right to expose his fraud and applaud our prescient abilities. I did not become a Tool Potentate overnight…

    Rutager could still win–we are anxiously awaiting an entry from San Diego-

    –John

    PS: Consider yourself warned. This Totally Awesome and Worthless blog is to remain family friendly–it is Sh!t. You are excused if you posted using a smart phone and could not find the “!” key. :)

  3. What if I’m totally happy with everything i have made, is there an alternate sh!t bunny?

  4. Oops! Sorry about the errant “i” in “Sh!t Bunny”. No, my phone is not smart. Neither is my computer. Or, in fact, the person using it. And I wasn’t even typing on the French keyboard at the time, which is rearranged enough to give anyone a headache. Try to find the exclamation mark. Go ahead. I dare ya.
    .
    I’ve seen pictures of Fred’s work, and it’s actually pretty impressive.
    .
    On the other hand, I didn’t see him build the pieces – he just told me he had. Hmmm….
    .
    San Diego, eh? Why? Do you know someone with crappy woodworking sensibilities down there? I’d be happy to introduce myself and photograph their potentially award-winning pieces for you.
    .
    – Peter

  5. John,

    Having recently been a guest at the Franks home, I will attest that all the furniture he showed me was well build and designed, so unless he had something hidden in the garage or buried in the yard- hang on, his yard was completely dug up- probably just hiding bodies.

    Fred now claims that after he finishes his work bench, he will build an entertainment center. Still no word on if he’ll get rid of the old one afterwards.

    Sh!t doesn’t self correct on my iPad; I’ll need a new excuse.

    -Rutager

  6. John,

    In response to the the comment in the previous blog entry about my entry not stinking enough; I would like to point out that I’ve been using it for over 18 years and could have easily built a better piece during the last 15. The design is mostly non-descript- definitely “not worthy of the space it occupies.” The construction sucks, and the finish is okay except that I actually stained the cherry!

    Remember, if you don’t enter, you can’t win, so game on, does your Sh!t stink more than mine?

    -Rutager

Leave a Reply